My place in this big world…

I’ve always wondered where my place is in this world…

With my initial search, I thought that I just couldn’t find it. Now I know, I haven’t found my place because it isn’t there yet. I realized that I have to create my place.

I’m not content with having some cookie cutter, less than perfect, run of the mill position in life.

I want my own place that I earned on my own merit. A place that I created with my own two hands. A place that I paid for with my own dues. I want an imperfectly magnificent place overlooking the clouds.

I know I have a lot more climbing to do before I make it all the way up there to start my build; but I don’t even mind. I’m just enjoying the view and taking each peak on my journey one day at a time.

I always keep my blueprints on hand for whenever I reach the top to break new ground.

Inspiration that inspires me to inspire you.

– I LIve to InspIre

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Excuse Me. Can You Tell Me Who I Am?

Have you ever tried to get confirmation from someone else? Did you feel like everything would magically be honky dory if someone else gave you a thumbs up for what you do? I can honestly say that in  the past I have. I understand, as humans, we all need some type of encouragement to help us along the way; yet, at times I feel we need to realize that it isn’t always necessary. Just fyi, I made this realization yesterday. So please don’t feel as if I’m picking on you, I’m just sharing what I’ve learned.

You can’t wait on anyone else to justify who you are or what you want to do in life. Don’t get me wrong. We aren’t all born knowing who we are or what we want to do but you are supposed to use this journey through life as a lesson towards that epiphany. For those, like me, that take a little more time to figure out the odds and ends; you must learn who you are and what you want to do by making some mistakes.

Unlike anything you may have been taught, mistakes aren’t all bad. I’ve made some beautiful mistakes and gotten some bumps and bruises that have developed me into the strong, creative spirit I am today. When I say “make some mistakes” I mean try new things, open your mind and take some leaps of faith to see where you land. Sometimes there will be rough landings but once you’ve gained full consciousness, you might like your new surroundings.

Take me for instance, I graduated from Vidalia High School in May of 2005 and went straight to college at Georgia Southern University in August 2005 expected to graduate in four years to then go onto Medical School to become a general surgeon. I couldn’t decide on a specific type of surgery, so general it was. LOL. Lovely picture, right? Very much so, but it was a picture I hand painted. I didn’t realize I forget to paint myself into the picture.

I had to go that specific route because that’s what I told myself  and my parents. That’s what I believed I had to stick to because of how many times I had told them; and if I did anything else I KNEW I would be letting them down. I needed that confirmation from my parents and for whatever reason I thought I wouldn’t get it if I didn’t close off my future into a tiny square box. (BTW, my parents are like super supportive and have always been but I have always had a predisposition to not disappoint them because they were always so supportive. Sounds like a catch 22, right? It is.)

As a pre-med Georgia Southern student, my pre chosen major (not my choice)was Chemistry. Sadly I hated Chemistry but hey I changed to Biology and then hey I realized I hated pre-med. Though I knew I hated pre-med, I stuck it out for 2 years because that’s all I knew. In reality, I would have now clue what I wanted to do until after 1 year of Chem pre-med, 1 year of Bio pre-med followed by 1 year of pre-nursing.

If that wasn’t a mistake, I don’t know what is. LOL. Although, my mistake was necessary for me to know where I didn’t want to be. I became 100% aware of my meant to be major through the wonderful world of extracurricular activities. To be exact, through the African Students Association. To be even more exact because of the V.P. of ASA at the time, Kofo, and the ASA advisor/mentor, Dr. Jallow. (Thanks, you two!!!)

After being placed (not quite by my choice) into a Community Service Chair position and then choosing (on my own) to become the Public Relations Chair, my fate was sealed. Public Relations was my thing! I didn’t exactly know what I was doing, but I was doing it, meeting people and having fun. I had crashed landed into paradise.

So long story short and still kind of long. I have made my mistakes, felt defeated, cried, dried my tears, tripped over my own two feet, busted my knee, got some help, cried again, received some necessary encouragement, built a plan, flew, crashed, exploded, flew again and learned from everything.

I blossomed and learned in my own sweet time and I am thankful for everything that happened.

No matter what others try to “pre-do” for you, you have to decide if it’s what you want to do. Even when you think you are doing the right thing, you can certainly be wrong. Especially when you have people behind you and because those people are behind you, you think that you have to keep going for them. You don’t. Keep going for you. Or stop and start back up with something else if you need to. Make sure you find out who you are and what you want. Otherwise, you could end up miserable; if you are always trying to get confirmation from someone else.

Words to inspire from me to inspire you.

– I LIve to InspIre

UNSOLVED – written 9/twenty-3/twenty12

What do you do when you don’t know what needs to be done? When he’s been there before and understands but you can’t even scream for his help because he won’t hear you & you can’t face what’s been done.

Where do you go when you don’t know the way, you don’t have directions and there’s nothing at your fingertips to navigate you home?

How can you continue when every bone in your body, your muscles and every single brain cell has retreated to dormancy?

Everything is topsy turvy in a moment’s notice and you go from planning your last move for that king to picking your game pieces out of the gutter.

You can only take so much before your pretty little doll face cracks, but once it’s broken, what can you take to mend it? What hospital exists that can repair massive, painful, unseen holes in your heart?

How can you expect a fairytale ending when it all began as nonfiction?

What can Prince charming do if he can’t get to your heart because you can’t get it back from someone else and that someone else still holds it for ransom? Once the clock strikes midnight, seductive evils surround you and you’re sucked into the irresistible hands of darkness, what can the dim, peeking light from your fairy godmother’s wand do? Not even the fairy tales, that once saved you from harsh reality, have any power. For those same tales left your innocence in harm’s way to begin with.

You are lost in a world farther than translation, where the very meaning is undefined.

You wore your glasses and read the directions but you couldn’t see that the label on love is more complicated than you could understand. So you took your first taste from the bottle and have yet to loosen cupid’s grip. Even today, you are still drinking out of the same bottle but with different expectations, of course. You know despite what they say you’re not insane, you’re just addicted to that taste.

You need that high it sends you when someone looks your way and smiles. You need that moment when everything stops because he walked in and he didn’t have to. There are a million doors he could have opened but he chose this one. But the same reason you drink love’s poison, is the same reason you hate the very thought of love.

Just as quickly as he walked through that door and you walked through another with him and laid down that bottle. You picked it back up. Jumped out of a window. Sat it in another chair to wait on another door to open because you know that next taste is never as good as that first sip. But the next taste might be better than the sip you’ve just had.

So you have no choice but to keep sipping until you get to the bottom of the bottle. Your rationale is: if the first sip was that good, that wonderful, that compelling… the very last sip must be ten times better. That’s your picture perfect fantasy but in a painted and framed reality. You just want to finish the bottle to solve your problem. Because after you finish the bottle, there’s no reason to run. There’s no more sips so that him you see in that last instance of that last drop has to be THE him.  The heavenly implanted miracle to erase every other him.

Hopefully you’re right. Otherwise you might OD, instead.

Allow me to introduce myself,

I am *I LIve To InspIre*, otherwise known as LIB4Innovation.  I love to write poetry. I have always had a love affair with food. I developed an undying love for fashion. I am addicted to shopping. I am always working to improve myself: professionally, personally and financially.

My number one goal is to inspire those around me. To expand my reach for the purpose of inspiration, I decided to create and cultivate this blog. So please feel free to feel connected to me through my words.

I invite you to come along with me as I create my place in the world.

Smooches,

I LIve to InspIre