Where does love come from? Not just the feeling or the emotion, but the action. Remembering someone’s favorite artist or icon and spending your last dollar and then some to buy that portrait. Never saying a word about not having a dime to your name but only feeling the enchantment of seeing that someone’s face light up while opening their gift. How does love create such insanity and happiness to make us want so badly to bring a smile to someone else’s face? It’s an incredible, unfathomable creation. Love.
We are creatures of instantaneous responses, fueled from rapid emotions. We don’t take the time to listen when it’s so much quicker to just pick out what we want to hear and then declare war.
After the words fire from our ready weapons and the dust finally settles, we never take responsibility for the casualties. We only remember the bullets that came in our direction.
Until we’ve been removed from the battlefield and have taken off our armor, do we see or feel the damage we’ve left behind. By that time, talks of reconciliation are deterred by thoughts of regret and fear of rejection.
Whether we started or finished the battle, regardless if we are afraid our “adversary” won’t accept our treaty of peace, we must take that first step to start rebuilding. We can’t continue to let time pass, for life is much to short to be ravaged by warring hearts.
I’ve sown myself into this forgetful fashion. Gazing at how perfect the world looked under the delicate lace trim. Imagining how marvelous I’d look tucked under that glorious chic attire.
I was head over Giuseppe’s, so far removed from my everyday apparel. Displaced as a model of superb stride. A refugee on this runway of sight driven exhilaration.
Trapped in a show of luxurious proportions. Wrapped in this immaculate gown from the depths of my Vera Wang infatuations. My mind draped in a royal fascination of fabrics.
Too busy marveling at spring pigments to realize I’d let go of your hand, days ago. And you waited but you couldn’t recognize me in my Westwood designed disguise.
I’ll admit. It was easier to see the collection from my chair in the front row than to window shop with you in the center of the city.
I didn’t want the windows, just the labels.
But now the stitching has pierced my conscience. And my better judgement bled for hours onto my gown. Until it was worth little more than a secondhand glance. And the facade became real to me. I had lost you.
Now I realized where I’d been. I was away at that week for months. Wandering amongst the changing fashion. Lost in the intricate beading of a sketch brought to life.
Now I only wish I had sown our broken seams sooner. Before we ventured so far apart.
What do you do when you can’t sleep???
You jump into the darkness you are trying to hide from. You capture that darkness you are trying to dream away. And with that darkness you begin to create.
You allow the tears to roll down your face and onto the paper. To remember new visions and reconstruct old memories.
Creating masterpieces your mind couldn’t imagine without that darkness.
Without letting go. Without tapping into that unused percent everyone is so thoughtless about.
Here, between sleep and conciousness is where tears cleanse unwraveled thoughts. Until your conscious thoughts cut the rhythmic flow.
And as those tears morph into magic, they still hold their sting and their salty taste. Just as you still fear that darkness.
Though you captured its black resonating beauty, you’ve experienced its allure. You can’t help but to let it go and hide from it once again.
And once again you close your eyes. You leave the realm of imagination to enter the realm of dreams.
What do you do when you can’t sleep???
You create mortal miracles from the misery and mischief until you finally fall asleep.
When you play the “What if…” Game, you only win more -what if’s- and lose -what’s real-.
Live your life faithfully, believing in your abilities not wondering about them. You miss out on living a better life when you’re always daydreaming about how your life could be better.
When you pray for the perfect opportunity, you need faith to go along with the prayer. Don’t just expect things to happen out of thin air, work towards your goal. Continue to improve yourself and learn so you are ready when that opportunity bum rushes you.
Don’t drop the ball when it’s time for you take the game-winning shot. Especially when that shot determines the next step in your life.