“No Letting Go”

We broke each other’s hearts, unintentionally but that doesn’t mean the pain hurts any less. That doesn’t make anything better. As it seems, everything only worsened. Bits of our hearts wilted until they grew bitter from the unconscious abuse.

Memories from a time far away exist in our mental rolodex. Those memories are strong enough to release remnants of love to our senses but we dare not speak of them. We live in a different time, in a different place, each as a different person. In this time and place there’s no turning back but at the same no letting go.

I want to speak to you, to pour out the contents of my overflowing heart. But I won’t because I can’t. I don’t know how to reach the spot in your heart meant for only my memory to permeate. If I can’t reach that spot, I can’t know if my plea will reach you. I can’t take the chance of being too late so I’ll leave my thoughts unspoken.

For if I unleash my soul’s contents, I’m liable to be met with the same hesitation we’ve both met before. We spent so much time in wonder of each other; our amazement overcame everything. We could only watch from afar, never taking advantage of the moment. Just allowing those many moments to slip by until we had lost days and months and years.

And now I sit alone, in that same wonder. That same amazement. My love locked on you, hoping your heart still holds a place especially for me.

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