Habitual

Addiction – the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma (Dictionary. com)

The words never come. They get lost on the journey, somewhere in the pride.

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Knowing better but fearing the worst. Mouth closed and unfed. Body clothed but wasting away. Mind chaotic and unresponsive.

The worries fester. Not enough smiles to hide behind. The truth creeps closer. Reality settles.

Can’t take the denial or accept the truth. Can’t speak out.

Sweating. Dry mouth. Shivering. Nothing left. Take my last sober breath.

And relapse.